Isn’t it funny how God knows exactly what you need before anything ever happens? I guess, he wouldn’t be God if he didn’t, but his foresight still amazes me. The past few weeks Jonathan has been talking about forgiveness at Hub City Church. The verse he’s been using mainly is:
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Col 3:13
I didn’t know until this week, but I needed to hear this and I needed to have this verse memorized and taped to my computer at work to focus on. I found out that someone I’ve called a friend has been repeatedly talking about me behind my back. I guess, I kind of knew some of it was going on, but I’ve just really realized the extent of it. It makes me wonder how much of the trials I’ve gone through in the last year are because this supposed friend of mine was telling lies about me. How much have I lost out on because of her? I hate to even think about it.
I’m not angry about it. What does that solve? But I am terribly disappointed. I feel hurt. But I know that I cannot let it stay with me or it will turn into bitterness and will just make it worse for me… but worse than that would be the implications for my spiritual life. Jonathan talked about the debt that we owe God because of our sin is SO much greater than any debt another person may owe me. If I want God to forgive my debt, I must forgive those who owe me.
So, I’ll be praying that God will help me to let go of my sadness over a lost friendship and over the what ifs.