So, a few people have commented about my poor and needy post and I just wanted to add a few things. Yes, I was partially talking about finances. We have been trying to cut back wherever we can and we can’t always do what we really would like to…. (like join a gym, a new 24 Fitness gym opened up in Boiling Springs and I don’t know if I’ll be able to take Alyx to a dance class, and I don’t know how Frankie is going to go to college this fall). Despite that, God has provided so much for us. He has used some of you out there and he has just blessed us in all sorts of ways. We are making it… I don’t know how except that it’s God. I would like to thank everyone who has helped us thus far and those who will continue to support us in the months to come. You really don’t know how much it means to Frankie and me.
But more than finances, I am poor and needy in much deeper ways. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but I just recognize a much deeper need inside of me that makes me cry out for God. I just need him so much… I need him to fill my spirit, to renew it. I have found myself to be more emotional in the last months. I have prayed that God would make me more compassionate and I think he is answering that, but now I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry during sermons when someone talks about the lost sheep. I cry during the opening ceremonies of the Olympics when they light the torch. I cry when a friend tells me her sister who has already been through so much trying to conceive, went through in vitro and it didn’t work either. I cry during sappy love story movies (okay, so I did that before). I cry when I read blogs about people who are leaving behind their comfortable world and starting a new church in an area that everyone tells them is unreachable… I am crying as I write this. My heart seems to be more sensitive as time goes by. I think that this is God. He is making me more sensitive to the things that really matter. And I need his help to respond in a godly way. I need him to pour through me and reach those people who are hurting.
Also, I need his protection so much. I know that Satan doesn’t like what we are doing and he is attacking Frankie and me more and more everyday in our family, in our friendships, in our workplaces (or mine at least), and in everyday life. I see the problems and I know it’s not right, but I don’t always know how to fix it. But God does, he knows exactly what I need to do in order to be the most effective in reaching people.
I hope this all makes sense. I hope that you will reach a point in your life when you realize how poor and needy you are. I know that I have only scratched the surface on recognizing how much I really need God. But the yearning within wants to reach out for him and each time I do, I realize a little more of my need and how he fills it.