Stressed

So I am just a little stressed this morning…. okay most mornings. I’m having a hard time not worrying about some things. I know I’m not supposed to and I really do feel like God is going to take care of us, but in the meantime, I’m searching for a solution. At what point do you let God handle it by himself and at what point do you search out any and all opportunities available? This morning, I woke up thinking of a million things that need to happen, but I am unsure that we will ever get there. If you have a moment, maybe you can say a prayer for us. I’d appreciate it!

God, help me not to worry, but to put my life in your hands. Help me to know what my part is and let you do your part.

ABC

A Bed for Alyx

So, we’ve been thinking about getting Alyx a new bed… in hopes she might actually sleep in it instead of ours… ***sigh*** We want to get her a princess castle bed, but they are so expensive and I just can’t see spending all that money right now. It would be for her birthday, but still… it’s a little more…. no, it’s a lot more than I want to spend!! I found one on Craig’s list that’s like half the price, so I think we’re going to see if they still have it, but it’s still expensive!!! Oh well, maybe it will work out for her and for us. It’d be bad to have Alyx and a newborn in the same bed with us! Of course, I was always pretty good about putting Alyx back in her cradle after she got done eating, but she just can’t seem to stay in her bed at night… and I’m too tired at 2 in the morning to take her back downstairs.

My Psalms

Okay, I’ve had to rewrite this a couple of times. I’m just a little bit peeved. I finally figured out how to unlink my blog from facebook as apparently that was causing some people some problems.

First of all, this is MY blog. This is the place where I can be myself… or so I thought. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and my life and what I am going through. The Bible is full of heartfelt prayers that don’t always paint people in a good light, but they are real…. they are what is really going on. This blog is my prayer, my psalm…. this is where I can pour my heart out to God and know that he not only hears me, but will help me through whatever issue is at hand. I have never called names out and said this person has done this or that to me… the circumstances aren’t as important as how I deal with them and this (writing) is how I deal with them best.

Second of all, I have had my friends email me and tell me they appreciate my honesty and openness, that it helps them. I just don’t understand why MY thoughts and MY feelings have to cause YOU problems. We all deal with things in our own way, in our own time…

Please leave me alone as I deal with my own planks…. maybe you should deal with yours before you start judging me about mine.  Please feel free to NOT read my blog… it’s not for you anyway.

Walls

So, I’ve been thinking about my last blog and about Jaimee’s comment on facebook. I think God is using a current struggle to help me realize something about myself that I never saw before. I am extremely thankful for everything I have been through, even if it was extremely difficult at the time. Why? Because it has made me who I am today. Circumstances are just that… it’s how I deal with those circumstances that matters.

I think that I have built walls around myself and didn’t even realize it until now. I think about my relationships and how I have a hard time building relationships. I can’t help but wonder if that stems from some things in the past. Like I said, I would not change anything in my past and I can guarantee my past is a lot better than most people’s, but I think that as a child and going through some of the issues I dealt with that perhaps I put a wall up between myself and those around me. As a child, I think I just found a defense mechanism that worked for me; however, now I think that perhaps I need to work on taking those walls down….  Now that I see that… how do I do it? I guess me and God will have to work on that!

No Honor

I was reading about when Jesus entered his hometown and could do very little there because the people, his family and the people he grew up around, didn’t have faith in him. This really made me think about my own life and the people around me, particularly my family. There have been several instances in my life where I feel the people in my life didn’t believe in me… didn’t believe in what I wanted… didn’t believe I knew what I wanted. It’s really hard, knowing that you try your best to help in any way possible, that you try to always be honest and up front, but still they choose not to have faith in you….

Then, I have to decide whether I am doing this to my family and friends…. am I having problems putting my faith in those around me. Honestly, I tend to be naive, to believe the best about people no matter what, to overlook past transgressions and believe that the same person who has burned me a hundred times is going to do the right thing this time. Frankie tells me I let people walk all over me. I guess, I just want people to do the right thing. But that just doesn’t always happen. So… back to my question… do I have faith in the people around me? I just don’t know how to answer that right now, except that I really hope so.

The Sound of Sleigh Bells

Beth Hertzler works alongside her beloved Aunt Lizzy in their dry goods store, and serving as contact of sorts between Amish craftsmen and Englischers who want to sell the Plain people’s wares. But remorse and loneliness still echo in her heart everyday as she still wears the dark garb, indicating mourning of her fiancé. When she discovers a large, intricately carved scene of Amish children playing in the snow, something deep inside Beth’s soul responds and she wants to help the unknown artist find homes for his work–including Lizzy’s dry goods store. But she doesn’t know if her bishop will approve of the gorgeous carving or deem it idolatry.

Lizzy sees the changes in her niece when Beth shows her the woodworking, and after Lizzy hunts down Jonah, the artist, she is all the more determined that Beth meets this man with the hands that create healing art. But it’s not that simple–will Lizzy’s elaborate plan to reintroduce her niece to love work? Will Jonah be able to offer Beth the sleigh ride she’s always dreamed of and a second chance at real love–or just more heartbreak?

“The Sound of Sleigh Bells” by Cindy Woodsmall was a really good read. I, personally, love stories about people overcoming past hurts in their lives whether they are real or fiction! I feel I struggle with being compassionate to people in need or that are broken and I enjoy reading these type of books that reveal the inner thoughts of the characters. I know it’s fiction, but there is a lot of truth to the way people feel and most of us feel those same things just at different levels. Anyway, you can order it from here.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Give. Save. Live.

So today at church Jonathan talked about money… everyone’s favorite topic, right?! We are in a series entitled FoolProof and are asking the question “What is the wise thing to do?” So this week was “What is the wise thing to do with my finances?” This is a really REALLY hard question to ask and even harder to follow once you answer it!

Honestly, our past experiences have left us in present bondage, so I wish we had asked this question of ourselves a long time ago. It really would have changed our lives I think…. Maybe I could have stayed home after Alyx was born, maybe it wouldn’t be such a struggle that Frankie’s not working a full-time job, maybe….

In light of present circumstances, I really feel we have no choice but to trust God. He has been extremely faithful to us as we have been faithful in giving to him. In light of our future goals, I have to trust God to work those out! He knows my desire and it is nothing I can ever accomplish on my own especially in our current circumstances.

I guess, the part of Jonathan’s message that challenged me the most was about prioritizing our finances. I don’t often do things in the right order… I do them, just not the way they should be done… and I realized today that I do this with my finances as well. So my challenge is to do things the way God desires me to do them.

I, also, have an issue with saving… but I think this is more because of our past foolishness than anything. I need to start being faithful to this as well (but I’m not sure this is a biblical principle, just a wise one!).

Garage Unsale

So we really didn’t advertise this a lot simply because of what it was, but today was our first ever Garage Unsale! What is that? Well, it’s like a garage sale except we gave everything away. I was really excited to see God’s people from several different churches come together to help our community. This was not a Hub City thing, it was a kingdom building thing! And as much as we were able to help people by meeting physical needs, it was also a time of building God’s Church in Spartanburg, which is just as big a benefit as meeting people’s needs is… to me, anyway!

I’ll be honest with you… I was just glad that when we got to the Beacon this morning that we still had all our stuff! We did have a few greedy people who were taking more than we allotted… we wanted to limit it to people taking five items so that they might get what they needed and not just what they wanted and also, so that others would be able to get something, too.  But we are only responsible for our part, what God has asked us to do.

I think we learned some valuable information for if we do this again, but overall, it went great! Thanks to everyone who donated items, to The Beacon for letting us use their parking lot and tea and lemonade, to Krispy Kreme for doughnuts, to Pods, and to all the great volunteers!

Simple Life

The subject of this book by Thom & Art Rainier is simply about making life simple…. a lot easier said than done. In fact, I have tried to pick up this book several times in the past month and find myself too busy (whether I actually am or whether I just perceive myself to be too busy) to read it. I am still in the middle of it, but I find myself fascinated by the ideals set forth… none of which are new or something we couldn’t figure out if we just took a few moments to sit back and relax instead of always being on the go!

“Simple Life” breaks life up into four categories: time, relationships, God, and money. All of which are extremely important to all of us and are areas we also tend to make things more complicated than they actually are. Thom and Art Rainier give four goals (clarity, movement, alignment, and focus) and apply them to the four areas and give you a game plan for making life simpler.

As I said, I am still reading this book, but so far, it has really made me think about how complicated I have made things in my own life… and with a second child on the way, I really need some simplicity soon!