I Just Don’t Know

I’ve been really frustrated lately. I don’t want to go into too many details, work has just been really difficult for me lately. I really enjoy my job overall. I like my co-workers, I like being able to help people, I like answering questions, I like helping develop processes. I may not like checking behind my co-workers for errors, but I can do and I feel I can do it well. But we’ve been short-handed lately and it seems like I have had to take on more responsibility. I don’t back down from responsibility; in fact, I feel like that means people know I do my job and do it well. But now in less than a month… I’ll be leaving on maternity leave for 6-8 weeks. And I feel no one wants to step up to do my job… I just don’t know what’s going to happen when I go back and that frustrates me to no end. But what can I do…

Baby Girl

Almost There…

Well, it’s Jan 31st. I have about a month left give or take a week or two depending on what this baby girl decides to do. AM I nervous? No. Not really. Everything went great with Alyx and relatively quick, so as long as there are no complications, everything should be fine. I’m still planning on no epidural… My irrational fear of shots make that a pretty easy choice for me. Plus, I think if you prepare yourself, it’s not too bad. Your body is made to handle it.

Anyway, I will be glad for everything to be over though. I have had three colds in the last two months. The one I have now is the worst of the three. I can’t seem to get over the coughing spells, which cause other issues for me. Practically, every morning, I gag and/or throw up, especially right now with all the extra junk floating around. In general, I just don’t feel well… nothing major or that I can put my finger on, I’m just kind of “blah” all the time and I seem to be more tired… probably because I have a 3yr old running around the house (when she’s not sick with a 100 degree fever). Frankie does a great job with her though, even though he doesn’t want to give her any medicine. It, also, seems like there is an endless list of things to do all the time… oh well, I guess, that’s just life.

I wasn’t able to go to the ultrasound yesterday because of the ice. SO I had to reschedule for Tuesday evening. It kind of sucks because everyone would have been able to come on Saturday, but now, I don’t know if anyone will be able to come. I guess, I’ll have pictures to show them, but I really wish Mom could have come. She would have enjoyed it.

Well, I’m in the last stretch now. Soon we’ll have a new baby girl to bring home. I just hope Alyx isn’t too jealous!!!

A Great Thing and a Not So Great Thing…

Well, the bad news first… Alyx has been running a fever of 102 degrees since she woke up from her nap yesterday. She isn’t really showing any other symptoms except that she is just laying around. So I know she feels bad. She won’t eat much, but I’m trying to keep her drinking liquids. Her temperature finally was normal the last time I took it (about 30minutes ago), so I’m hoping she is getting better. She’s sleeping again now. She probably didn’t get much last night. The other bad news is that I stayed home from work today with her. Frankie had to go out of town. I don’t mind staying home with my sick baby… I just worry about what I’m going to go back to at work… yuck! BUT hopefully, Alyx is getting better and that’s the main thing.

Now, for some better news… My sisters and my mom got together and got me like the best gift ever for the baby! I have been feeling kind of sad for my baby girl. I just feel like we haven’t been able to do things like we could for Alyx. One of the things that has been bothering me was that we did a 3D/4D Ultrasound for Alyx and we have her pictures hanging up in her room. But we just could not afford that for this baby… SO Mandie, Jessica, Joni, and Mom got together and got me a gift certificate for a 3D/4D ultrasound! I’m so excited. We will hopefully go on Saturday, so Mom can be there. She didn’t get to go to Alyx’s and I know she’ll love it. I can’t say enough thanks to them. It really was something I wanted for baby girl, but I was trying not to be upset about it, so I’m very excited about it.

I’m also excited because Liz Everette is throwing us a baby shower for baby girl (I keep calling her that because we still have no idea what her name is going to be) on Feb 6 at her house. I guess, it’s normal now to have a baby shower for each child, but it feels a little wierd. As much as I want to do for baby girl, we have almost everything we need for her as far as big stuff and clothes. We just need diapers (lots and lots and lots of those) and wipes (lots of those, too) and the other disposable type stuff. I think we are going to get a gift from Alyx to the baby (like a little blanket like Alyx carries around) and a gift from the baby to Alyx (I have no idea what to get here, any ideas?).

Anyway, I’m getting excited about the baby girl now… I’m like 34 weeks or something… It’s really close! In the mean time, I hope my big baby girl gets to feeling better.

The NEW Premier!

Well, Premier Designs just came out with their new Spring/Summer line of jewelry. It really looks great. I’m excited to get my order (it should be here Friday!!!).

I went to the Regional Conference that they held in Atlanta this past weekend. I really enjoyed the speakers. I wasn’t too keen on the walking across the stage thing for recognition, but I know people like to be recognized for their accomplishments. I think I just like them sending me retail certificates for free jewelry!! I was able to order $500 worth of the Spring/Summer line for free! Yay!

The one thing that I think really came from the conference was that I can do this…. I can make a living at this. I just need to make a few uncomfortable phone calls to get some bookings started back, but it’s possible. I think that Frankie realized just how well I could do at this, too… he keeps telling me people I should talk to about becoming  a jeweler! I think the one thing that is holding me back right now is that I just don’t know when the baby will be here! I’m kind of afraid to schedule shows in February and March because she’s due March 3rd, but we all know that a due date means nothing! I know I could have others fill in for me, but I hate to NOT make the money I hope that doesn’t sound really selfish, but my family needs the income if at all possible!

SO! I’ve got to figure out how to make this work in the next couple of months.

Compassion

Today, Jonathan read a couple of verses from Genesis that really spoke to me.

6 When Joseph came to them the next morning, he saw that they were dejected.7 So he asked Pharaoh’s officials who were in custody with him in his master’s house, “Why are your faces so sad today?”

He brought out a point I had never noticed before. Joseph saw that the people were upset, but not only did he see it, but he spoke to them about it… asked them how they were, what was wrong.

A friend of mine recently told me some tragic news that happened in her life. And that she went through it practically alone, only one other person knew, who was also in pain over the same thing. When she told me, I was devastated for her. And I was extremely upset that she had been carrying such a heavy burden by herself. This morning though, I was equally upset at myself. I noticed a few times that she seemed upset and instead of asking her if she wanted to talk, I assumed it was just something else and didn’t do anything. It upsets me that perhaps if I had asked, she would have opened up and wouldn’t have felt so alone.

May God open my eyes to the people around me… that I would not only notice people, but that I would ask them about it. May God, more importantly, bless my friend, and help her through this hard time in her life. I am so sorry that I didn’t speak. I love you!

My Country Girl

So, I’ve noticed over the last few days that my daughter has a VERY southern drawl… I’m not sure exactly where she has picked this up. I know my speech has become a little more southernized through the years, but I don’t think it’s as bad as what I’m hearing from her! Frankie is particularly southern on a few words… like “wrassling” instead of “wrestling.” But he doesn’t really draw out his words that I’ve noticed. Alyx makes a one syllable word into four… like “I want choc-lat miiiiiiiiilk.” It’s not miiiiiiiilk… it’s milk, Alyx! She just looks at me when I try to correct her, as if saying, ummm, that’s what I said… ****sigh**** I guess it’s not a big deal, but it is a little entertaining. Now, if she starts saying things like “Bilos” and “Walmarts…” I’ll know she needs to stay away from her Nana!! Oh well, I guess, we are going to have a little country girl living in the house.

New Year

Well, it’s a new year… already. 2010 is sure to bring about a lot of changes for our family as we look forward to the addition to our family. Unfortunately and fortunately, Frankie is going to be working a couple days a week with his dad again. Fortunately, because at least he has that option open to him and unfortunately because I know he has a lot he will still have to accomplish outside of working. This is going to be a little new for Alyx, too, since she will probably be spending more time with her Nana. Next school year, if Frankie is going to be working during the day, we may have to see about putting her in a more full-time school. I know she loves going a few days a week and so maybe it would be really good for her to go full-time. Maybe she’ll learn to use the potty One can only hope…

I’m not sure what the new year is going to hold for me. I know what I desire more than anything, especially with the new baby coming, but I’m pretty sure it’s not possible at this time. I’ve kind of resigned myself to that… although I still ask God to make it possible I do know that I still have a jewelry business to work at. Things kind of slacked off over the holidays, but I’m looking forward to this year and what will happen now. Anyone interested in hosting a jewelry party?? They have a few specials going on right now!

I will say that I have been really proud of myself for my resolution from last year to read the Bible through. I accomplished that goal last night. I have never followed through with a resolution before and it felt pretty good! This year, I am going to focus on my prayer life. This past year has been a difficult year for our family in some aspects and I believe God is wanting our full attention. I can’t think of a better way to continue to focus on him then to focus on my prayer life. We have so much to be thankful for, but we also still have a lot ahead of us that we feel God wants us to do. I think God is working in both our lives to prepare us for the future and so we need to be ready for what he will ask of us.

I am also praying that God will bless Hub City Church this year in ways we cannot imagine. God has blessed Frankie and I by allowing us to be a part of such a great family of believers. There is a lot of potential that we have yet to reach and I pray that God will show each one of us what he desires of us in order to grow his local church in every way possible.

I know God has a lot of stuff in store for me this year. I know he has lots in store for you, too! Take a moment and pray that we would be ready for what he is doing and will do!

Christmas….

I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. I love the meaning behind it; I love the giving; I love seeing Alyx (and other kids… big and small) so excited. I was a little bit depressed this year because we weren’t able to do things like we normally do… not so much buying for ourselves and Alyx certainly got enough, too… but we weren’t able to do a lot for people who needed help this year. I know Christmas is definitely not the only time to help people in need. I just felt horrible that there wasn’t more that we could do as a family.

That’s one of the things I love about Hub City Church. We tend to give a lot away. I am glad that giving is a part of the church’s DNA. Through special offerings, Movies in the Park, special events like the Garage Unsale, and much more, we give of our money, our time, and our resources. Christmas tends to turn people to think about others… I’m glad to be a part of a church that thinks about it all year-long…. it makes it easier to work as a group when I know I can’t do much on my own.

Contentment

Lord, I haven’t been very content lately…. not that I’ve wanted stuff or anything. What I want more than anything is a peace,  your peace that will surely pass any understanding I may have. I’m tired. I’m constantly worrying. I know I’m not supposed to worry. I picture things being different, but instead I can only focus on the half-empty glass that is my life right now. You have given me so much to be thankful for… why can’t I just make that my focus? Why am I focusing on the negative when there is so much you have done for me and for my family? Lord, please take my worries, take my hopes too… make my life into what you want it to be. Help me to be thankful. Help me to focus on YOU! Help me to be content with where I am, with who I am, with what I am… with all you’ve done for me. God, it is only in you I will ever find that peace that I long for. God, teach me to be content.